Ashe Mountain Times

By Dee Petersen

dee@listenfully.com

This column is another in the continuing series providing readers the opportunity to ask questions of a life coach whose focus is "wellness".  The purpose of this column is to make a difference regarding your well-being. We will share ideas for you to ponder. We will address material that you send in so please know "your" questions are important..

What you will find in this column is not our "answers"; but, rather, the use of our coaching skills to provide possibilities for new thinking as you relate to the circumstances of your life. Questions or topics may be sent to (dee@listenfully.com) or through the About Us - Ashe Feedback link on the Ashe Mountain Times website at http://www2.mountaintimes.com

Now, for this week's focus for well being: During the last several weeks, we have focused on questions around managing your time to support your health and well being. With each of those columns, suggestions have been made that involve changing your habits.

So, you ask: "What do I do when I feel stuck in a habit that I can't seem to change?" Many times we find ourselves focused on wanting to change some habit we have and just wanting to change it feels like judging ourselves, making ourselves wrong, or working hard "fixing" ourselves.  When you focus on something you don't' want; i.e. something you want to change, all of your energy is directed toward what you don't want and by focusing there you just keep creating more of that in your life. Even though you want to change, your focus is actually counterproductive and you continue to bump up against the same old habits. I invite you to consider a different question that will have you feel lighter and inspired. Consider the question: "How can I create a new habit that supports my health and well being?"

To explore some examples, consider the habit of thinking thoughts that create stress in your body. The approach that creates more stress is to focus on changing the negative thought. The approach that creates lightness and inspiration is to create a positive replacement thought and give all your energy to that thought. Another example is the habit of smoking. The approach that is counterproductive is to focus on quitting smoking or the problems that smoking causes in your body. The lighter more motivating approach is to focus on and notice how great it feels when you breathe clean fresh air and to begin to notice how the clean fresh air affects so many aspects of your life ~ your energy, your stress level, your relationships, etc.

Once you become aware of your desire to change a habit, there are four simple steps: (1) Make a commitment to yourself to change it and tell at least one other person. (2) Practice, practice, practice. (3) Create a system to monitor yourself and acknowledge your progress. (4) Get yourself supported by a friend, a coach, a mentor, etc. Remember, our habits have been created over our lifetime and change will occur over time. I would add an important fifth step --  love and accept yourself where you are and acknowledge yourself for your commitment to change. This actually may be the most important first step of the process.

We will continue to address questions regarding your well being in future columns as long as you continue to send them for us to explore.